The Catholic Ladies
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well.....?"
She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God...'."
Sister Susan
A nun was walking in the convent when one of the priests noticed she was gaining a little weight. "Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?" he asked.
"No, Father. Just a little gas," Sister Susan explained.
A month or so later the priest noticed that she had gained even more weight. "Gaining some weight are we Sister Susan?" he asked again.
"Oh no, Father. Just a little gas," she replied again.
A couple of months later the priest noticed Sister Susan pushing a baby carriage around the convent. He leaned over and looked in the carriage and said, "Cute little fart."
Just A Little Chat
A catholic priest and a rabbi find them sitting next to each other on a long journey, and so after some hesitation start to talk to each other. After discussing the weather and the latest sport, the priest turns to the rabbi and says that he thought it was rather strange that he was not allowed to eat pork, and asked him whether he ever had.
The rabbi replied, "Well, when I was a small boy, I did in fact taste a small piece of bacon."
"What was it like?" the priest asked him.
The rabbi replied: "Not nearly as good as sex."
God's Offer To Adam
God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he decides to create a companion for man as well. He comes to see Adam and says to him, "Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will worship the very ground you walk on, she will long for you and no other, she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command, she will be beautiful, and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg."
Thinking for a few moments, Adam replies, "What could I get for a rib?"
Adam And Eves Great Marriage
Adam and Eve must have had a really great marriage. Adam couldn't mention his mothers cooking and Eve couldn't talk about all the men she could have married!
The Letter
A minister opened his mail one morning and found a single sheet of paper inside an envelope. Written on it was only one word: "FOOL."
The following Sunday he announced, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their name. But this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name and had forgotten to write a letter."
Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Sunday School
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question. "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the little boy.
"Really?!" exclaimed the teacher, "How do you know?"
"You know - 'Our Father, who does art in Heaven..."
The Devil
A Sunday School teacher asked a little boy, "Freddie, do you believe in the devil?"
"No," said the little boy. "He's just like Santa Claus. I think it's my daddy."