Sports stars are paid that much, we have a right to laugh at them!
Birthday Candles
What do birthday candles and the Buffalo Bills have in common?
They both get blown out on the same day every year!
The Chicken And The Basketball Court
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
Because he heard that the referee was blowing fouls!
The Toilets Are Too far Away
Two men were at a football match and it was just seconds away from kick-off.
"Man," said the first man, "I'm bursting for a pee, and the toilets are miles away"
"Don't worry," said the second man. "You see that bloke in front of you? Just pee up his leg."
"Are you crazy?" said the first man, "that bloke's massive."
"Oh," said the second man, "he won't notice anything."
"How do you know?" said the first man.
"Because I've just peed up yours!" said the second man.
Michael Owen
After a visit to the doctor, Michael Owen, the Man Utd team's forward dropped in to his local pub for a quick one. "What's up mate?" asked his friend Brian, "you look worried."
"Yes, I am," Michael replied. "I've just been to the doctor's and he told me I can't play football."
"Oh, really?" said Brian. "He's seen you play too then, has he?"
Black Golf Balls
A Scot and an American were talking about playing golf during the various seasons of the year. "In most parts of the USA we cannot play in the winter time. We have to wait until spring," the American said.
"Why, in Scotland we can even play in the winter time. Snow and cold are no object to us," said the Scot.
"Well, what do you do; paint your balls black," asked the American.
"No", said the Scot "we just put on an extra sweater or two."
Sprinters Two sprinters are training for the 100 metres race for the olympics. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in under 10 seconds!" The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ahhh, but I took a short cut."