Do you have a funny true story to tell us that has happened to you, or someone else. Please tell us because we like to laugh at it too! All submissions are annonamous and nobody will find out that it's you we're all laughing at!

 

The Poo Incident

 

 I went to an 18th party a couple of years ago. I didn't know anyone but the few family members that were there, so to build up courage I drank more and more WKD's, wine, Fosters, and well, anything I could get my hands on really. The party was just getting going, everyone stuffed full of food and chatting away.One minute I was dancing away in the livingroom, before going for a sneaky fag in the front garden, the next minute the bedroom door opened, and a bright light stung my eyes open.

 

What I didn't realise was that I had blacked out, stumbled upstairs into the smallest bedroom I could find, and fell asleep. So you can imagine my embarrassment when I woke up to the fact I'd not only missed half of the party but I'd taken a dump on the floor beside the bed, got it all over me and was rolling around in stinking shit for half of the night. Ewww!

 

 

 I Ate My Cat

 

I was in year 8 at high school and had been studying french for just over a year. The teacher was making us all learn how to say they'd brushed their teeth, and eaten breakfast, you know all those little things you have in your daily routine that nobody would ever actually talk to eachother about. Completely pointless if you ask me!

 

Well the teacher went round asking us all to name one thing we do before we left our house for school in the morning. Some people said they watched tv, others ate breakfast. I ate the cat. Of course i was meant to say i fed the cat but made the dreadful french amateur mistake of saying "Je mange mon chat!".

 

The whole class laughed at me. Then i became known as the cat eater in the class. It was so embarrassing!

 

 

 The Pie

 

I went fishing on the boat in Anglesey with a couple of mates a few years back. I wasn't catching many and the sea was fairly rough so I went for a sleep in the cabin. In the meantime my mate was cooking the three of us food to eat for dinner. Steak and Kidney pie and chips, sounded nice to me so when I woke up I ate it all.

 

My mate said to me "Enjoy the pie?"

"Mmm it was really tasty cheers mate." I replied.

"Enjoy the dog food in the pie?"

 

Well the thought made me sick but I was so embarrassed because he'd watched me enjoy eating the whole lot. He'd scooped the steak out of the pie and filled it with cheap dog food, sealing the lid back onto the pie before serving it to me.

 

Disgusting!

 

 

 The Party

 

I went to an 18th party in November. I'd got out of work late so when I got to the party in the socil club everyone was already drunk. So, trying to be clever and get my fix of alcohol fast, I drank one drink after the other, gulping down every last drop. Soon after, I was on the dancefloor with some of the other girls sitting on the floor doing 'oops upside your head' followed by the 'macarena'. The party was nearing an end and I was staying at my best mates house for the night so she rang her mum, and we got a lift back to hers.

 

I felt perfectly fine in the car on the way to her house, that is until I collapsed in bed. I woke up the next morning gasping for a drink of water so I peeled back the covers to get out of bed and found that I was only in my underwear. That wasn't how I remember it when I went to sleep.

 

 I asked my best mate why I was in my underwear and she said to me "Well first you went downstairs and woke my dad up because you set off the alarm, then you went into the front room and puked all over the sofa so my mum had to take your top off you to wash it and send you back upto bed. Then, the last thing I remember was waking up to you squatting in the corner of the bedroom, pissing on the wooden floor. Well I think you should go and apologise to my parents."

 

I did. But my cheeks have never turned bright red faster!

 

 

 The Bus 

 

I was on the bus on the way home from school. There wasn't much room to move so I ending up perching my arse on the edge of a seat, sitting sideways. The bus started to go round a corner and then it jerked, so there was me, arse over tit, with my legs in the air on the floor of a bus full of people I went to school with.

 

The whole bus full of people laughed as my little legs waved around in the air as I struggled to get myself back up. Thank god I had shorts on underneath my school skirt, even though they were bright red ones, that's all I can say!

 

 

 Ironing

 

It was the last day of school. Think I was 15. I'd just washed my school skirt and started ironing it half an hour before I had to go to school. The setting was right, I was sure of it but for some reason, it burned a gaping big hole in the middle of it. I didn't know what to do. I concidered pulling a sicky, but my dad had sussed me out the week before for doing it so I found the longest navy blue school jumper I could find and tryed to pull it over the hole to keep it covered all day.

 

I looked so stupid for looking down at my skirt and pulling my jumper down all day, but I had to keep that hole covered otherwise people would have seen my flower print knickers and hairy legs. I pulled it off though, don't think anyone noticed.

 

 

 Swimming

 

I went swimming with my cousin when I was younger, like we always did on a friday night, before it seemed drinking was more popular.  We were just swimming away, near the huge whale in the pool when I saw a brown lumpy thing floating on the surface. It was a fucking shit! I mean how disgusting is that. I wouldn't have freaked out much if I hadn't been swimming in that exact area just two minutes previously, and had accidentally swallowed some of the water.

 

I thought the water tasted funny, bloody mingin!

 

 

 Bugsy Malone

 

I'd bought tickets to go and see Bugsy Malone, the christmas school play. I was waiting in the dining area, ready to go into the hall with my mate, and was getting aggitated because there wasn't any seats. I kept scouring the room for a seat to become free as people very slowly started to pile into the hall for the performance. One became free so I rushed over to drag it back to where my mate was sitting, and very quickly lowered myself onto the chair. My mate only went and pulled the chair from under my arse didn't she! So, there was me, arse on the floor, all of these people staring at me. Of course my mate found it hilarious, the fact I'd fallen over. The cheeky mere!

 

 

 Alton Towers

 

I went on a coach trip to Alton Towers, one of these last minute things. I'd slung any old clothes on thinking ahead, you know, in case I got wet. So there I was, in Alton Towers, waiting in the queue for 'Air' in the sweltering heat, praying that 'The Flume' was nearby. One by one we went on the biggest rides, 'Oblivion', 'Rita', ' Spinball Whizzer', until finally coming to the water rides. I was over the moon, I'd been cooking in that heat all day and couldn't wait to cool down.

 

Anyway, we got onto the log flume and got absolutely soaked, great, just what I needed, to be nice and cool, maybe I could enjoy the rest of my day. Dripping wet, we carried on going on the rides, the faster ones we thought, so that we might dry off a little. However, people kept staring at me, pointing and laughing. It made me so paranoid but I just got on with it until finally, some little boy shouted over to me "I can see your nipples, I can see your nipples!"

 

I looked down, and the white bra and white top I'd put on, which I'd originally thought was a good idea so it would reflect the heat and keep me cool, had become 100% see through!

 

My erect nipples were poking through my top and everyone had been able to see them for the last half an hour!